Hey there! I’m Mikala—a family doctor, wife, mother of 5, well-being advocate, and author of the books Ordinary on Purpose and Everything I Wish I Could Tell You About Midlife. Each month my writing reaches millions of women, but I am thrilled to be connecting with YOU. I’m truly grateful to have you here!
All in Motherhood
Sometimes we miss them, even when they’re sitting in the same room! But I have a secret weapon for connecting with our teens.
If you are the mother of a teenage boy, you need to hear this one.
She carries her children’s joy and sorrow. She carries their goodness and pain. And every night she casts ALL the things she’s carrying off to Jesus as she prays over her children’s souls.
It turns out, no one’s talking about the hardest stuff. The REAL stuff.
I suppose for a teenager, mom probably seems like “the worst.” Yet somehow, this is still his safe space.
I wish I could say I’m the perfect mother. But…I’m not. Not even close. Day after day I mess up in a million ways, and I'm still the right mom for the job.
Our main job as parents is to help our children navigate life. REAL LIFE. And that means talking to them about the hard stuff.
First, I’d recommend a deep breath. And...maybe another. Then simply repeat a phrase like this one, “Oh, I know honey. Ugh. There’s always something to do, right? I sure do appreciate your help around here.”
It might look a little different now, but your boy will always need you in so many ways!
Motherhood is exhausting and scary and filled to the brim with beautiful, heart-stopping, tear-jerking, breathtaking moments. And you get to feel every single emotion!
I’m realizing now as my kids grow up into the unique people they are meant to be, they also grow a little bit AWAY from me. I’m not their center but orbiting somewhere in the periphery. And that’s okay. That’s where I’m SUPPOSED to be. Motherhood isn’t the only thing about me!
But I don’t want to miss the beauty of watching my child become exactly who they were meant to be!
#7: Every once in a while, you will look over at your teenager and see the toddler version of him right there in the expression on his face. It will take your breath away.
These days, hugs are few and far between. Usually given with a limp arm. Or the ‘lean in’ with no arms at all. It’s lonely, sometimes. But we have to remember…we’re not alone.
Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever get it. Will I ever be the patient, loving mom I strive to be? Will I ever be able to control my temper? Will I ever be able to keep it all together?
I’m pretty sure all those earlier parenting challenges were preparing us for today—these days of parenting a teenager. EVERYTHING feels multiplied!!
This is my third time watching a boy of mine slip into the whipping, swirling vortex of adolescence. And I know. I know they return—taller, leaner, deep-voiced, even more hilarious and fun, wiser, witty, a little more grown, and still absolutely amazing. But the letting go is hard.
No one told me just how amazing it is to watch this little person you met at his very first breath GROW UP—even way up over your own head—and I want you to know. Raising teens is hard, but it is so good, too! I promise.
