Hey there! I’m Mikala—a family doctor, wife, mother of 5, well-being advocate, and author of the books Ordinary on Purpose and Everything I Wish I Could Tell You About Midlife. Each month my writing reaches millions of women, but I am thrilled to be connecting with YOU. I’m truly grateful to have you here!
I go to therapy. Finally. For years I prescribed all manner of therapy. I encouraged it. Recommended it. Condoned it. Applauded it. But for me? Nah. Until now…
It's okay to switch off the news, turn down the radio, delete a few apps from your phone. It's okay to come up for air.
I’d like to offer an apology on behalf of the medical community for contributing to a deep-seated problem.
OF COURSE, you always intend to exercise and make something healthy-ish for dinner and switch the laundry and respond to those work emails and clean up the kitchen counters and make time for self-care and basically be a productive and functioning person. But then, all too often, life gets in the way.
Yesterday a friend of mine posted a rant on social media. I felt EXACTLY the opposite. Have you been there? Here’s what we can do…
These days, hugs are few and far between. Usually given with a limp arm. Or the ‘lean in’ with no arms at all. It’s lonely, sometimes. But we have to remember…we’re not alone.
It’s easy to overstuff—our dryers and our lives. And that’s what causes burnout!
Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever get it. Will I ever be the patient, loving mom I strive to be? Will I ever be able to control my temper? Will I ever be able to keep it all together?
This is another way you can take very good care of YOU!
I can’t believe this is my life. It’s messy and hard and ordinary and mostly unplanned. And so ridiculously beautiful.
I’m pretty sure all those earlier parenting challenges were preparing us for today—these days of parenting a teenager. EVERYTHING feels multiplied!!
Can I invite you to ignore the extra flesh and the new gray hairs and the soft tummy and even the fine crow’s feet? And instead, will you zoom in very close and notice your eyes?
This is my third time watching a boy of mine slip into the whipping, swirling vortex of adolescence. And I know. I know they return—taller, leaner, deep-voiced, even more hilarious and fun, wiser, witty, a little more grown, and still absolutely amazing. But the letting go is hard.
I think we’re missing out on the fabulous beauty midlife has to offer while trying to cover our age spots and blemishes with creams or smooth our crow’s feet with medicated patches or inject away our forehead wrinkles. Let’s embrace the years!
No one told me just how amazing it is to watch this little person you met at his very first breath GROW UP—even way up over your own head—and I want you to know. Raising teens is hard, but it is so good, too! I promise.
You call a plumber when you have a leak in your house. You visit a salon to have your hair dyed and cut (and you would NEVER see a different stylist!). You have your HVAC maintained and repaired by an HVAC specialist. You take your car to a mechanic you trust. And I know you’re not seeing just anyone on the street to have your teeth cleaned—you see a dental hygienist!
None of it feels shiny! And it certainly isn’t perfect, but it IS beautiful. Life happens in the ordinary after all!
You should get up early every morning to pray and read and do morning yoga and somehow be thinner, prettier, healthier, younger, and more self-confident while volunteering, working outside your perfectly organized home, and putting your marriage first all while spending more one-on-one time with each child…whew. “The Shoulds” have got to go!
It’s sobering to know that before IV antibiotics were widely available, my daughter’s particular diagnosis had a blindness rate of 20% and with certain complications, a mortality rate >40%.
Turns out our health isn’t all or none. We don’t have to do everything to be healthy. And we can make a lot of progress toward feeling well.ish if we simply start!
