Raising Responsible Kids

I was exactly the perfectionistic, straight-A student you think I was. If given a project I’d usually come home and get to work immediately, completing it within a day or two of being assigned. I’d stress and stew and make it perfect. Mine was almost always the outstanding project of the class!

I was unaware other people don’t always operate this way until I became a mom.

It turns out my children are not of the get-it-done-right-away-with-your-very-best-effort mentality.

They’re more of the get-it-done-at-the-last-minute variety.

And as hard as it can be to watch, my husband and I have decided it’s best to let our kids be responsible for their own work.

That means, while the rest of the family closed out summer with roller coasters at Lagoon followed by sticky smores, my soon-to-be eighth grader stayed home to finish his summer homework assignments.

Three book reports and a whole stack of math worksheets all due TOMORROW!

It wasn’t the way I would’ve done it. I felt bad he missed our final summer celebration doing his work at the last minute.

But he finally completed it ALL in his own time with little to no complaining.

And really???

I am SO proud.

Here’s what I’m realizing as a parent…

We are responsible TO our children for things like food and clothing and shelter and an environment in which they can learn and grow and be themselves.

But we are not responsible FOR our children’s choices.

We set an example.

We give them safety and support and unconditional love.

We make the rules and impose consequences.

And sometimes, we move out of the way and allow for the natural consequences of the rest of the world.

Consequences that might mean missing out on fun!

My greatest hope is to raise responsible, hard-working, successful young people into very kind and capable adults who are ready to tackle the challenges and consequences of the REAL world.

I think this kid is well on his way.