Feeling Anxious in Midlife? It Could Be Something More.
Sometimes when I’m in a difficult situation and anxiety sets in, I can feel myself floating up and up and up. And before I can even realize what’s happening, I’m flailing.
Taking everything in at once. Looking waaaaaay into the future. Imagining every possible scenario and allllllllll the people affected until suddenly it feels like I’m hovering above the WHOLE entire world. The enormity of it becomes terrifying, and I get completely overwhelmed.
Luckily, after lots of practice with anxiety and overwhelm these 40+ years, I’m learning that what I really need to do in these difficult situations is come down.
Down, down, down until my feet are planted flat on the ground. Then zoom waaaaay in, and set my eyes on whatever is exactly before me.
Just one thing. One person. One moment in time.
Somehow, when I come down and zoom in, I’m reminded I’m not in charge of doing every single thing at once or somehow fixing the whole entire world (turns out, I’m not God).
But I really CAN do one thing at a time.
I can serve and love and work and pray and give the very best of myself to the task right in front of my face. And whenever anxiety mounts, I can flatten my feet firmly against the ground and ask, “But what comes NEXT?”
Then I can make breakfast. Get dressed. Shuttle the kids to school. Unload the dishes. Read scripture and pray. Do a little work from home. Dance in the kitchen. Switch the laundry from the washer to the dryer. Whip up an after-school snack. Snuggle with a book on the couch. Oversee homework. Cart kids to basketball practice. Pull something from the freezer for dinner. Phone a friend while hamburger sizzles on the stove. Tuck all my beloveds into bed. Make love with my husband. And fall asleep whispering gratitude for the beautiful, ordinary moments of yet another day.
So, what about you? Do you struggle with anxiety? Do you sometimes wonder if it’s something…more?
Turns out, feeling anxious sometimes is much different than having generalized anxiety disorder.
Generalized anxiety is a medical diagnosis that looks a lot like:
Excessive worry that can be difficult to control
Anxiety that occurs daily for more than six months
Difficulty in daily functioning due to worry and anxiety
Additional symptoms like poor concentration, fatigue, irritability, migraines or neck/shoulder tension, somatic (bodily) complaints such as abdominal issues, or trouble with sleep.
Please know, you can seek outside help. You may find help from daily medication (like the Lexapro I take every day) and support from regular visits with a therapist (I see mine every 2-3 weeks).
That’s the thing, dear ones. We don’t have to do EVERYTHING. We cannot do it ALL. And we don’t have to struggle through any of it ALONE.
We can simply do the next right thing we’ve been asked to do for today. And ask for help when we need it.
Because how do you eat an elephant???
That’s right. One bite at a time. I think that’s how we’ll LIVE this good, hard, ordinary life too. One moment at a time.
