Let's Give Our Kids the Chance To Fail!!

My middle schooler got a C- in reading last semester.

And he’s actually a pretty great reader. On standardized tests he typically scores around the 95th percentile.

He LOVES to read!

He reads every night, and I never have to remind him to do his required minutes. I bet he surpasses the classroom reading requirement by hours a week.

The problem is, he forgets to bring me his planner to sign and document those reading minutes for his teacher.

So, time and again he logs a zero for the week.

He’s learning zeroes can bring a grade down pretty quickly.

I suppose it’s a tough lesson. But to me, a C- on my middle schooler’s report card isn’t that big a deal.

I’m more interested in the bigger lesson here.

YOU DO THE WORK.

YOU MAKE THE GRADE.

YOU EARN THE PRIVILEGE (or the career or the promotion or the bonus…).

See, years ago when my oldest started school, my husband and I decided to let our kids’ grades be THEIRS. We absolutely refuse to do their work for them!!

Yes, we are available to help if they need it.

Yes, I say something like, “Did you get your homework done?” after dinnertime or before I cart them off to sports or before we turn on the TV to relax in the evening.

Yes, in the morning as I pack lunches and make sure everyone has found something for breakfast I casually say, “If anyone has anything that needs to be signed, now is the time!”

But also…

Absolutely YES, good grades according to my children’s unique abilities are EXPECTED in this house!!

So, when we saw the C-, my husband and I just reminded our middle schooler grades like that mean he’s not ready for the responsibility and privilege of a phone.

It’s not a punishment. It’s a fact.

Would it be easy for me to just grab out his planner and sign it every morning so he gets the A??

Absolutely.

But I’ve got the end game in mind.

The one where I raise responsible, hard-working, successful young people into very capable adults who are ready to tackle the challenges and consequences of the real world.

Ugh.

What a huge responsibility we have as parents!!

I know it seems easier sometimes to just pave the way and arrange a perfect little life for our kids.

Like the winning sports teams. ‘Help’ with homework so they receive high honor roll. A mile-long resume.

But more importantly, we parents need to remain laser-focused on that end game.

Let’s give our kids age-appropriate responsibility. And the chance to FAIL.

Then let’s look at those inevitable little failures (like a C- on a report card) and see them for what they are…

Really great learning opportunities for our very capable kids.

There are bigger concerns ahead.

Let’s make sure our kids are ready!!