Jesus Finds Me in the BE-ing

Sometimes people say things like,

‘Just run to Jesus.’

‘Sit at His feet.’

‘BE with Him.’

And I agree. I do. He is the only One who matters, after all. But to be honest, sometimes I’m not very good at it.

I often think I find Jesus best when I run to hurting people. Sit with them. Be there with them in their pain. And help and serve and love.

And it’s never anything fancy. It looks like wide smiles. Or holding the door. It looks like offering to bring food or buy food or drop off food. It looks like watching someone’s kids or driving someone’s kids or inviting kids to sit down with us for dinner. It looks like volunteering or donating money or giving my time or offering whatever it is I have to give. It looks like compassion and empathy. And love.

Because whenever I do for the least of these, that’s where I find HIM.

I find Him in the DO-ing.

And I used to think that was enough, and maybe all my DO-ing made me a good Christian.

But lately I find myself longing for something deeper.

And I’m realizing the deeper relationship I’m seeking only comes in what I do next.

After the DO-ing comes the BE-ing.

That’s where I’m spending my time these days.

Almost nearly every day I walk along the path near our house and let the cold, biting air turn my cheeks stiff and frigid. I stare up at the mountain peaks white with snow. My breath catches a little at the beauty. And the tears come. My footsteps thud along the pavement and with each thud, I remind myself I, too, am part of His creation.

Just as breathtaking. And beautiful.

It’s so hard to admit how much I NEED Him. How small and fragile and helpless I can be. I’ve always longed to feel capable. Sure. And strong. I get caught up in the DO-ing of life. I push and prove and prop up. I achieve.

See??? Look at me??? I’m ‘GOOD!!!’

But the DO-ing won’t ever be enough. Not for Jesus. That’s not what He’s looking for, really. Over and over and over, He invites me to something deeper.

So, each night when the house is finally still and quiet, I soak in my warm tub. I let the water surround and cradle my worn and weary body. And I practice the BE-ing.

The staying. The needing. The resting. Even when I want to run away. And DO.

And I’m just coming to understand. And know. That’s where He finds ME.

He finds me in the BE-ing.