I'm a Sinner...and He Loves ME

I have been her time and again.

That woman standing inside the circle with fingers of reproach wagging my direction. Pointing to my pride. Gluttony. Lust. Greed. Comparison. Lies. Shame.

I am a sinner.

I sin.

And I know the feeling of bracing myself for impact from those stones of condemnation.

But then in the very same breath I can feel the weight of a cold, heavy stone in my hand.

Because can’t I be just as quick to condemn?

‘How dare she? How could he? What was she thinking? Doesn’t he know?’

My arm cocks back so quickly. Ready to cast a stone.

Yes, I’ve been HER. I’ve been THEM.

And really…

I can’t stop thinking about Jesus.

How He stoops and draws in the sand.

He fully knows my sin. He knows EVERYTHING about me.

But His body isn’t rigid with hate or disgust. He isn’t angry. He’ll never, ever pick up a stone…though He’s the only one qualified to judge.

Instead, He is kind and gentle and loving and merciful.

He LOVES me.

He loves every sinner standing in the middle of that circle. Just as He loves the sinners ready to cast those cold, heavy stones.

He loves us ALL.

And we ALL sin.

I can just imagine his merciful eyes finally meeting mine…when everyone else has tossed their stone aside and slowly trickled away.

‘Go. And leave your life of sin.’

It’s all He has to say. Though He knows. Knows I’ll be back.

Back in the circle.

Back holding a stone.

He knows.

He just goes on loving me anyway. Forgiving me anyway. Waiting for me to return to Him.

Again.

Waiting for me to come back and fall into His gentle arms. Over and over.

He waits. And whispers…

‘I know, sweetheart. I’m here. I love you. Now go…try again.’

John 8:7