It Doesn't Have To Be Perfect

Today he turned thirteen…

On our way home from soccer practice tonight he said out of nowhere, “Mom, this was a really good birthday.”

“It WAS???”

“Yeah,” he replied. “We just didn’t do much…so there wasn’t any pressure, you know??”

I did know.

I know EXACTLY what he meant.

Because during early motherhood my kids’ birthdays went something like this…

What do you want for your special birthday breakfast???

Doughnuts?
Pancakes?
French toast?

What do you want to DO for your special day???

Lagoon?
Boondocks?
Swimming?
Dartside?

What would you like for your birthday gifts?

Where do you want to celebrate your party with friends?

What should I make for your special birthday dinner?

Do you want a chocolate cake this year?
Or an ice cream cake?
Or that special cookie dessert?

It was all overwhelming.

It was too much pressure.

Somehow in my quest to make every single special event PERFECT, I sucked out all the joy. The fun. The ability to just BE.

I essentially asked my children…

Is this right?? Are you happy?? Are you making beautiful childhood memories? Am I a good mom??

But not anymore.

I’m learning after all these years.

To slow down.

To be present.

To let the day just…unfold.

To enjoy the moment.

Today was cloudy. We baked cinnamon rolls. The boys played basketball for hours out back. We bought crickets for his lizard at the pet store. We picked up Culvers for dinner. He was thrilled to have cash and candy in his ONE gift. We sang as a family around his glowing (store bought) cake.

And I’m not sure my son could tell WHY he had a really good birthday.

But I know.

It’s because I didn’t put any pressure on him to make this birthday ‘PERFECT.’

(or more honestly…how to make ME feel like a perfect mom because ‘look at this perfect birthday I orchestrated!!!’)

So, we were ALL free to relax and enjoy the day.

Today my boy turned thirteen.

And, you know, I think it was pretty much perfect!!