I'm in a Grace Period

“With all the kids in school, what are you going to do now?”

I’ve spent the last six months or more stewing over that question. Wishing I had a neat and tidy answer. The ‘right’ answer.

The truth is, I’ve spent the last 17 years with little ones at home—a newborn, a pudgy baby on my hip, a toddler to chase, a preschooler. And for years I worked full time trying to juggle long hours at work with daycare drama while simultaneously trying to take care of a household.

Then I switched to part-time. And a few years after that, I had the privilege to work outside the home almost no days at all.

I LOVED my time at home with them. I cherished those quiet days with little people. Nowhere to go. Nothing much to do except fill sippy cups and open string cheese, change diapers and keep my eyes on the clock for naptime, push little bottoms on swings and read books to lap children, watch all my babies grow a little older every day.

But ALL of them are in school now…

And I don’t know exactly what I’m supposed to DO.

What is the answer to that question??? What AM I going to do now that all my kids are in school???

I’ve decided ‘I don’t know’ is an acceptable answer.

I’ve decided to do a little laundry, buy some groceries for dinner, take a long walk with my friend, read a book in silence on the couch, wait for their little faces to run toward the car after school.

I’ve decided that for now, or for as long as is necessary, I don’t need to have an answer to that dreaded question.

I’m giving myself the time and grace and space to wonder. I’m giving myself some time to just…BE. And I’m calling it my Grace Period.

I’m in a Grace Period.

Maybe you are, too.