I Am My Own Worst Critic

Every day my three-year-old insists on dressing herself. “No, I can do it!!” she proclaims and bats my hand away. And she can! She tends to put her pants on backwards and her clothes never match and often I help her extract one foot when she puts both feet in the same hole. But she smiles triumphantly as she stands to pull them up and shouts, “I did it!!”

Sometimes my six-year-old brings me flowers or checks our little garden for raspberries or tomatoes. I frequently get a fistful of dandelions that I arrange in a vase on the counter and so often the raspberries he picks are white and bitter, but I pop them in my mouth anyway as he watches me and looks so proud!

Sometimes my nine-year-old writes me notes and he LOVES to bring me gifts. I keep my favorites in my bedside table and he smiles whenever I use the green and gold glittered fan he gave me from the school store.

Every week my kids help with chores around the house like mowing and vacuuming and cleaning bathrooms. My house is often haphazardly cleaned, and I just smile at the long blades of grass left standing between the mowed strips.

I try to remember they are little.

I remind myself they are all still learning.

These imperfectly perfect kids of mine are constantly learning and trying new things and becoming independent as they attempt to figure out the world.

They are all helping and showing love in their own ways.

And I couldn’t imagine responding with anything but a “Great job! You worked so hard!” or “Thanks buddy, I love them!” or “Look at you, you’re getting it!”

I’m a mom and that’s what we do!

We notice their effort and goodness.

We recognize their determination and heart.

We praise the ways they keep trying even when the task gets hard.

We lift them up with encouraging words and hugs or reach in to help when they stumble and fall.

I don’t point out that putting on a pair of pajamas takes a full five minutes and that said pants are usually on backwards.

I don’t scold for picking fruit that isn’t ripe or throw the dandelions in the trash calling them weeds.

I don’t scrutinize handmade cards for misspelled words and toss clumsy kid-gifts to the side because of poor quality.

I don’t reprimand for toothpaste stains in the sink or those missed blades of grass in a sloppily mowed lawn.

Can you imagine?

But isn’t this often the way I treat myself???

Doesn’t the little voice in my mind so often jump to criticism?

You are a terrible mother. I can’t believe you lost your temper again. Why can’t you learn to control yourself? They’re going to hate you one day.

Look at that roll around your middle. I bet he doesn’t find you the least bit attractive anymore. But what do you expect? Look at all the junk you put in your mouth. You have NO self-control.

When are you going to get it together? The house is always a mess. The laundry is NEVER caught up. And you’ve fed the kids cereal, again. Why is this so hard for you?? You don’t deserve them.

What if I look with fresh eyes???

What if I look at myself the way GOD looks at me???

He notices my effort and goodness.

He recognizes my determination and heart.

He praises the way I keep trying even when the task gets hard.

He lifts me up every day with His encouraging Word and reaches in to still me when I tremble.

He loves ME with a love I can’t possibly understand.

And when I tune out that critical voice in my mind, I can always hear Him whispering with pride, “Look at you, you’re getting it!”