Mikala Albertson MD

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Why Are Relationships So Hard??

Relationships are hard, aren’t they?

Of all the things we’re asked to do down here…

Relationships might be the hardest.

You know what I think it is???

I think it’s the people.

Ugh. PEOPLE.

People are the hardest part about relationships, aren’t they????

Husbands and kids and parents and grandparents and neighbors and teachers and bosses and friends.

They just don’t say what we want them to say.

They don’t believe the way we wish they would believe.

They let us down or hurt our feelings and never seem to live up to our expectations.

Sometimes they say something or behave some way, and we think to ourselves…

‘What in the world was she thinking???’

Or ‘Why the hell did he do that???’

Ugh. PEOPLE.

People make relationships SO hard.

Plus, most of the time we don’t get to choose!!!

God just hands us a set of parents or grandparents or a few siblings or kids or neighbors or bosses.

And those relationships are just…hard!!!

I am CONSTANTLY working on my relationships with people.

Friends. Family members. Those who are optional. And those who aren’t.

Here’s what I’m learning so far…

Sometimes working on a relationship means letting things go. Taking the high road. Turning the other cheek. Saying silently, ‘That’s just the way she is’ and carrying on with the day.

Sometimes working on a relationship means holding firm to a boundary. Calling someone out. Letting them know about hurt feelings. Saying No. Or having hard conversations.

It almost never means holding a grudge. Refusing to apologize first. Gossiping with others about what he or she did or said. Punishing with silence. Being passive aggressive. Or demanding reform before offering forgiveness.

I’m convinced our most important work on earth is the way we connect and help and serve and love…PEOPLE.

Sure, it’s hard work. But HARD work is almost always the BEST work.

So, I’m squinting my eyes a little and savoring the bits of my relationships that are beautiful.

I’m letting go of ‘perfect’ and accepting what IS.

And I’m doing my best to speak and behave from a place of LOVE.

People will ALWAYS be hard…

But beautiful, loving, life-giving relationships are ALWAYS worth the work.

And I choose love.