I think I’m accidentally wearing mom jeans.

I didn’t really intend to go jeans shopping.  But Isaiah had an evening practice downtown and after I dropped him off I had an hour and a half all to myself (which NEVER happens!) so I went to the outdoor mall.  I thought I’d just walk around in the rain and window shop since there wasn’t anything I really needed to buy.  But then I found myself going in…

And for no reason at all I decided I should try on some jeans!

I reached for MY size.  Not the size I WISH I wore like I usually do when I’m jeans shopping.  But my ACTUAL size.  The size I’ve been wearing for most of the last twenty years.  The size I invariably revert back to when I’m not starving myself or running my butt off (literally!).  And I pulled a few off the rack to try.

Not the ultra-low rise or sexy high rise or stone wash rinse with pleats or rips or super duper skinny pole-dancer variety…just the dark wash, medium rise with stretch.  The plain old ordinary mom jeans.  I strode to the dressing room and half wondered to myself why?  Why am I choosing to go jeans shopping?  I could be doing just about anything else with this free time!  I hate jeans shopping!!  Usually I’m breathless and sweating and beyond annoyed at the rolls and dimples that are so obvious under those fluorescent lights.  Usually I leave vowing to start my next diet.  Usually I leave feeling just awful and allow my thoughts to berate the body I see before me.  That body that won’t fit into the size I WISH I were wearing!!

But I slipped on the first pair and ALMOST heard music.  Just like in the movies.  They fit.  Like a glove.  And the dark wash was so slimming!  And the medium rise hit JUST where I needed it to hit in order to camouflage this little tummy I’m carrying!  And that stretch?!  Well I think I could do just about anything in these jeans!!!!

I bought two of course.

And now I just can’t get enough of my mom jeans!

I pair them with a T-shirt and my tennis shoes.  The ultimate mom uniform.  And you guys…I feel like a super mom!!

In these jeans I can wrestle Lizzy into her clean diaper and clothes every morning or sit criss-cross applesauce for Chutes and Ladders with Luke.  In these jeans I can take the dog for an impromptu walk and even half run to keep up with little boys on bikes.  In these jeans I can clean toilets or lay down with Luke for a nap or kneel on the patio for sidewalk chalk creations or play James in a game of H-O-R-S-E.  In these jeans I can carry three folding chairs, a diaper bag, water bottles and snacks all while pulling a wagon loaded down with kids to watch Isaiah pitch at baseball.

I bet I could wear these jeans to yoga!

They are my super power!!

I am just so over it you guys.  I’m over caring about the latest trends.  I’m over having the right beachy waves in my hair or ‘naturally’ long lashes or perfectly sun-kissed, ‘plumped’ skin.  I’m over wishing I could be 10 pounds lighter so I can fit into my ‘skinny’ jeans.  I’m over wondering why I don’t quite look like the moms I see on Instagram.

I love looking at those feeds, don’t you??

Those endless pictures of monochromatic homes decorated perfectly with neutral tones and natural lighting and fresh flowers while perfectly dressed children in knickers and bonnets play quietly off to one side with their wooden toys from another era???  I stare and sometimes wish I could walk right into that seemingly perfect life.

The truth is my house is mostly uncoordinated and decorated with a mish-mash of hand-me-downs and thrift store finds that I’ve painted and set upon stained carpeting littered with plastic Fisher Price toys and Nerf guns all sprinkled with a light dusting of cracker crumbs.  My children are mostly loud and chaotic and almost NEVER playing quietly anywhere and can usually be found bickering and bothering each other while wearing hand-me-down T-shirts and clashing mesh basketball shorts that they may or may not have worn yesterday.

I would love to be that cool and casual pretty mom with beachy waves in my hair, possibly pulled back in a messy  up-do, in my Joanna Gaines inspired clothing and leather jewelry who gives a relaxed smile as I pull my children close while our whole family appears to be laughing at some hilarious inside joke as we gather chicken eggs from our yard in the sun or pick fresh kale from the garden that we’ll set out for the neighborhood party we’ll be hosting that night.

But I’m not.  We’re not.  That’s just not my family.

I’m over it.

We’re just ordinary I guess.

And I wear mom jeans with T-shirts and tennis shoes.

The truth is I’m okay with that.  I mostly want to wear my mom jeans and run around after my kids and eat chocolate and enjoy my life.  I want to look in the mirror or at the little (probably dirty) faces around my dinner table every night and just LOVE who I see.  I want to notice and be grateful for all the beauty right here in this plain old ordinary life…

Like Lizzy’s dimples and ratty morning curls and how she put all her babies in our dog’s kennel today for bed.

Like Luke’s infectious laugh and how he often still gets the words wrong and how he couldn’t stop laughing last night when I called him Stinky at bedtime because of his awful farts.

Like James and Eli and Isaiah endlessly playing pick-up basketball out back and how they laughed and laughed as they used the leaf blower to spin on the swings and how they all love to hug Lizzy goodnight and call her their Best Sister.

Or like spending Spring Break doing almost nothing at all except the important things like giant bubbles and bugs and sidewalk chalk and walks to the park and matinee movies and card games with their grandparents and too much candy and staying up way too late.

I may occasionally wish for a moment or two that I could step into those picture-perfect lives that seem to surround me.  I may feel my anxiety ramp up from time to time as I wonder why my life doesn’t ever seem to look that way.  But the truth is, I love this life.

THIS one.

It may not always be pretty, but it is beautiful all the same.

Even in the middle of this ordinary life…mom jeans and all!!