Prayer > Worry

Worry doesn’t change a situation like prayer does.

I know because God showed up for me recently. Twice. I won’t go into all the details, but I had two very different hard things to face. And I had already worried plenty. I stewed. I lost sleep. My fear and anxiety bubbled just below the surface and sent waves of nausea throughout my stomach.

But just before I walked headfirst into the pain, I remembered to pray. I prayed for strength and courage. I prayed to have just the right words. I prayed I might be able to FEEL His presence right there beside me as I struggled through. Please, God. Please. Can You please make it abundantly clear You are here?

And maybe it sounds crazy…but He did. His presence beside and within me was unmistakable.

I felt calm. And peaceful. And strong. Exactly the right words popped into my brain and jumped out of my mouth. And though I was really afraid, terrified even, I didn’t tremble in the slightest. I was not alone.

And it all felt other-worldly.

I told my friend on the phone a little while later that I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience.

And afterwards, on both occasions, when I went out for a walk on the path by our house to process the moment, I felt more alive.

Somehow the sky seemed bluer. The clouds seemed whiter. The sun seemed a little more…sunny. And the breeze blew like a cool salve against my skin. I noticed the sound of the birds taking flight from the rainwater in the ditch and the whispering in the trees against the sky.

And again, as I walked, I felt Him RIGHT THERE with me. I’ve never been surer. Of Him.

What’s funny is, I know I’ll forget all about it. I’ll come up against another hard thing somewhere down the line, and I’ll probably forget to pray before I struggle through. I’ll worry for a while. I’ll stew. Probably lose a little sleep. And then I’ll take it on alone like I can tend to do. I’ll attempt to handle it. ALL.

The difference is, I’ve reached a time in my life and a certain amount of growth and faith that I BELIEVE He is with me regardless. Whether I ask for and accept His help or not. Whether I believe in His presence or not. Whether I remember to pray or forget all about it until the waves of nausea remind me. He is here with me. Walking along. Guiding me through. Loving me every step of the way. Helping me find beauty amid the rubble.

He never, ever leaves me alone.