I Can't Wait!!

On my fortieth birthday, my husband organized a party at my friend Annie’s house.

Annie put up beautiful balloon arches and my friends came and we ate BBQ and I opened gifts and at the exact moment my birthday cake came out with forty fiery candles, the golf course nearby put on a fireworks show.

I’m not kidding. I felt so ridiculously loved!

Sitting around talking that night, someone asked if I wanted to do anything special in my year of forty.

And I answered, “Well, I’d really like to write a book.”

The polite follow-up question was, “Oh! What would your book be about?”

So, of course I started mumbling.

“Oh. You know. About how life isn’t perfect. And, um, ordinary things can be so beautiful. And yeah. A little about living with my husband’s drug addiction. And growing up. And stuff. Life stuff, I guess. I’d like to write about why now I’m ordinary, on purpose.”

I was sweating. I wanted to melt into the floor.

But then every morning at 5AM I crept downstairs to work on my little manuscript in the dark. And I cried.

I learned how to query a literary agent. I learned how to put together a book proposal. I read through a myriad of rejections. And the whole process took about a year, until one day Bethany House sent me a book contract. And I burst into tears.

Fast-forward another year later…and this morning I cried. Again. Because I just sent off my last round of edits for my book releasing in March.

My book.

It’s the ONE thing I’ve ever done because I want to. Not because I need to or someone asked me to or I’m supposed to. Writing just fills my heart!

And really, I couldn’t be more proud.

If someone leaned over to ask me what my book is about today, I’d tell them confidently…

“My book is about healing and forgiveness and radical self-love. It’s about how life is messy and complicated and hard, yet the beauty of an ordinary moment takes my breath away. It’s a love story about surrender and Jesus and becoming who we’re meant to become…in Him. My book is about letting go of our chase for a ‘perfect’ life and discovering unbelievable beauty amid the rubble.”

I’ve read it one million times. The last chapter STILL makes me cry.

I really can’t wait until March. And I can’t wait to share it with all of you.

I know I’ll cry.