A letter for Isaiah...

Dear Isaiah,

The other day you had a bad basketball game.  You were so disappointed, and I wish I had known what to say.

It is easy as a mom when you play awesome and make plays and win.  And it is so hard when things don’t go your way…not because I care about whether you win or whether I’ve got the best kid on the court or field, but because as a mom when you are hurting or sad or disappointed it hurts me even more.

I remember that first week or so after you were born how I sat staring at your beautiful face while you slept and hoping you would never feel sad or lonely or scared or disappointed.  I had this incredible urge to protect you!

But the truth is, that is not how the world works.

So often in life we do feel sad.  Or inadequate.  Or disappointed.  We are human so we do mess up (a lot).  We say the wrong thing or hurt someone’s feelings or mess up a play or have a bad game.  And it feels awful!

But the truth is also that we are just as precious and loved and special when we are succeeding as when we are messing up.

As your mom I love you all the time no matter what.  Win or lose, mess up or succeed, good grades or not.  Every single day I just love you and I am proud of who you are…of the amazing young man you are becoming.

And the amazing, wonderful thing is that God loves you infinitely more than that!  I think all of us would never feel inadequate if we could just remember how very loved and cherished we are by God.

Grades and sports performance and looks and weight and what others think of us wouldn’t matter at all if we could just remember our worth in God’s love.

I wish I would’ve said that the other day instead of shushing you when you were hurting.  I am still learning.  And I know you are too.

You have a baseball game today and basketball later this week.  Go play and have fun.  Play because you love basketball and baseball.  You’ve worked hard and you are strong and healthy and fast.  You have a great understanding of both games.  You can pitch seemingly without trying and you have the best handles and shot of practically anyone out there.  Play knowing how much I love you and love watching you play…not because of how you play sports but because you are YOU (smart, witty and so, so funny, strong, considerate, with such a beautiful heart).  Play knowing how incredibly precious you are to God…wonderfully and uniquely made for a purpose you are still figuring out.

I sure hate watching you hurt but please know I am always with you and always on your side!