Jesus, I Just Need You
I suck at prayer.
I do.
Sometimes I get distracted by a kid or a phone call or a dog or a text and forget to come back to it at all.
Sometimes I fall asleep.
Sometimes I’m not sure what to say and I feel like I’m just going through the laundry list.
The ‘I’m grateful for’-s.
The ‘Forgive me for’-s.
The ‘I’m praying for’-s.
Followed by all the ideas I have for how things should go.
I don’t know why this is so hard for me.
I go regularly to church.
I read scripture.
I read lots of faith-based books, too.
But most of the time I still wonder if I’m doing it right.
Is this the way???
These past few years as I’ve worked harder at my prayer life, I started doing this weird little imagery trick in my head.
I imagine as I pray that I’ve climbed onto Jesus’ lap. That He’s holding me there like a child. And as I stumble through the words, He keeps His arms wrapped around me and I rest my head on His shoulder.
Somehow it makes me feel more connected even if I still struggle with what exactly to say.
But then it came to me the other night when my daughter walked over after her bath and jammies and held her arms up high.
“Momma, I just need you.”
I think she was cold.
So, I wrapped her in my arms and held her for a while on the rocker. No talking or songs or books. Just a Mom holding her baby girl. Rocking and patting her back. Noticing the soft squishy warmness of her little body. Leaning in for a good long whiff of her freshly washed hair. Loving her down to the last little drop.
Because she needed me to.
And somewhere in that perfect moment it occurred to me…THIS is the phrase I’ve been looking for.
Jesus, I just need you.
Because the truth is, He already knows.
He knows ME.
He knows every single detail.
He knows about my joys and sorrows. He sees me in my sins. He already knows the desires of my heart.
He loves me right down to the last little drop.
I don’t need to pray with fancy words or formal prayers or perfect posturing…
I simply need Him.
So, the next time I stumble over the words. Or I’m too exhausted to keep my eyes open. Or I’m distracted by the crazy chaos of the day.
I’m only going to stop and say…
Jesus, I just need you.
