I’ve had that bury-my-head-in-the-sand feeling lately.

Ugliness is EVERYWHERE.

And it makes me feel so helpless and small.

I want to run and hide.

And pretend.

Everything is fine, right??

It doesn’t affect me, right??

I’m just over here minding my own business, right??

I should just keep quiet and live my safe, comfortable little life.

Right???

Because what can I even do??

What difference can I make??

The world has ALWAYS been ugly, hasn’t it?

Filled with bigotry and white supremacy and misogyny and fear mongering and oppression and inequality and brutality and violence and pain.

There is NOTHING I can do about it.

Right???

But then my eyes fall on the four impressionable young white boys I am raising.

These white boys I’m raising into men.

And I tremble a little knowing THAT’S what I’ve been asked to do.

I’m raising change in these men.

With the words I use and the actions I take and the conversations I have and the help I lend and the books I read and the shows I watch and the ugliness I absolutely won’t allow…

With every single move I make, I’m grabbing these boys by the shoulders and showing them the way.

Toward change.

I hope can show them how to look a person straight in the eye…and see a beautiful story there.

I hope can show them to find inherent value and worth in every single human life.

I hope can show them how to be kind, honest, and true.

I hope my boys will become men with integrity and respect running through their veins.

I hope can show them how to listen…not thinking of what they might fire back in defense, but REALLY listen and learn. Grow and change.

I hope I can show them how to stand up to every single injustice every single time they come across one.

I hope I can show them how to use their strong voices for justice. For ALL.

I hope my boys will become men who are never be afraid to take a stand for what is RIGHT even if it means going against the grain. Losing everything.

I hope I can show them how to sit with the gut-wrenching ugliness of bigotry and white supremacy and misogyny and fear-mongering and oppression and inequality and brutality and violence and pain in this world…and join the people who’ve been fighting on the ground all their lives to make it right.

Ugliness is EVERYWHERE.

But it turns out, I’m not helpless or small.

And I can’t keep quiet in my safe, comfortable little life.

I’m busy raising change.